Practicing Self-Care as a Therapist: 8 Lessons I've Learned

When I first heard the phrase "self-care," it was during my MFT graduate program.  Hearing this phrase, I remember wanting to roll my eyes because it just sounded so indulgent to me.  I grew up in a family that strongly values being productive.  My mom and dad were always buzzing around doing things-- working, cleaning, fixing, running errands, etc.-- and I rarely saw them sitting and relaxing or wanting to take walks outside.  Don't get me wrong-- I'm thankful to have parents who have done so much for me.  But the whole concept of tuning in to your body, being mindful, taking time for yourself to relax-- these things just weren't practiced in my home growing up.  Wondering if it was just my family or if it was a generational trend, I looked into the history of "self-care," and I learned this is fairly new as a mainstream concept.  In fact, it didn't really have a name until the 1970s, and that was limited to the nursing community.    


As I went through graduate school and my MFT traineeship (3.5 years), and subsequent internship (3 more years), I hate to say that I made very little time for self-care.  The sad thing is, that's probably when I needed it the most! Not practicing self-care made everything so much harder on my mood, my high stress level, my relationships, and my health in general while trying to develop the skills to be a therapist.  I didn't really start to take self-care seriously until I started the exam process last year because I heard so many people say they owed passing their exams mostly to practicing self-care.

Here is what I've learned about self-care over the past several months, so hopefully you can start earlier than I did!


1.  It's important to see your own therapist
This is the one thing I did soon after I became an intern.  I've talked about this in a previous entry, but I can't emphasize enough how important this is when you're starting out as a therapist.  Supervision was not enough, I needed support to process my feelings of anxiety, fear of failure, and develop my own coping skills for when I felt overwhelmed, triggered by clients, or frustrated with supervisors.  The great thing is, many therapists do take health insurance (if you have it), and you can count your therapy hours toward your MFT hours (not sure about SW hours).

2.  You have to listen to your body
This one has been extremely difficult for me to do, and I still struggle with it,  I have learned that when I'm feeling anxious and overwhelmed, my shoulders and neck get very tense and sore, and because I have Crohn's Disease (an autoimmune digestive chronic illness), stress increases inflammation for me.  There were times I saw clients and tried to ignore or suffer through my symptoms during a flare-up, and this was not beneficial to them because I was taking all of my energy and resources to pretend I was okay and was just not fully present with them.  Clients can tell when something is up, and I'm sure some of them did not return because they could sense I couldn't be fully there for them.  I've gotten a lot better at staying on top of my healthcare (whereas I used to move my appointments around to accommodate clients sometimes), and I will reschedule sessions when I know I'm too sick to be present for clients.  Turns out they are usually very understanding if I'm just honest with them about it.

3.  It's important to get exercise or at least move around
Depending on what kind of therapist you are, you may be spending a lot of time sitting.  There are many studies that say how too much sitting can be detrimental to your health.  It's important to balance all the sitting with some movement.  Many therapists have told me that yoga really helps them, as well as hiking, running, swimming, biking, etc.  In the very least, I try to get outside for a walk in the evening or take my dog to the dog park and run around with him.  Just being out in nature can be very healing and grounding.

4.  As hard as it may be, you have to learn to leave work at work
I can't even tell you how many times I've laid awake at night worrying about clients.  These are people struggling and in pain, and it can lead to feeling helpless and anxious for them.  Over the years, I have had to remind myself that these clients do not depend on me solely for their survival,* and they will continue to survive (but hopefully thrive) when they're done seeing me.  (*if they are currently in an unsafe situation, that's a different matter and there are obviously safety measures we have to take,  I'm referring to my outpatient clients who are not in crisis).  One specific thing that has helped me is I drive home from work in complete silence and let my brain process everything that happened during my sessions.  My brain needs to do this every day, and I'd rather it happen when I'm wide awake than when I'm laying in bed at night trying to sleep.  Once I feel like my brain has had enough time to process, I get home and then I allow myself to use distractions to relax-- playing or reading on my phone, watching a show I like, playing with my dog, talking to my husband or calling a friend or family member.

5.  Learn to treat yourself and not feel guilty about it
My favorite way to relax is getting a massage, but I never used to get them because they can be expensive and it was hard for me to justify making time for it and spending the money on myself. Since I've been making a more conscious effort to notice the tension in my body and address it now, I found a way to reconcile my guilt:  There are many massage schools where you can get massaged at a very low rate by a student/intern.  If there's anyone who can empathize with being student or intern, it's me! I'm not very particular about massages, I'm just happy to have somebody working through the big knots on my shoulders, neck, and back every couple weeks so I can function better in the long-term.  

6.  It's important to be able to set boundaries, personally and professionally
Oh, man-- this is still another very difficult one for me.  After practicing for about 5 years so far, I still have trouble ending sessions on time.  Even though I know it's important because it provides containment for the client, if I'm having a connecting moment where they're being very vulnerable, I have such a hard time interrupting them! I used to have a lot of trouble saying no and agreeing to take on responsibilities for which I didn't have time or energy.  My need to be liked and to be seen as reliable overshadowed my need to honor my own time and personal needs.  I also used to struggle with setting my fee at the rate I felt I was worth.  Or I would agree to come in on a Saturday to see a client, and if they didn't show up, I'd be very upset.  I have not mastered this skill, but I have learned to pause before agreeing to things and consider whether I'd end up resentful about it later.  After trying this out a few times and it going well, I've gotten more comfortable doing it.

7.  Don't underestimate the importance of SLEEP!
This one is a no-brainer for most people, but I have always had difficulty sleeping.  I like to stay up late and used to have little regard for how tired I'd feel the next day.  It's funny to remember how in college, I'd brag about pulling an all-nighter studying for an exam, like it was some kind of brave accomplishment rather than a terrible consequence of procrastinating!  As I get older, my body lets me know when I'm not getting enough sleep and it's not pretty! Thankfully, my husband and I have finally been able to invest in a really good, quality mattress, and it makes a huge difference for my quality of sleep.  A good pillow is important too, as well as reducing light in the room as much as possible, maintaining a comfortable temperature, and for some of us light sleeers, white noise or earplugs.  To help me fall asleep, I found a couple of hypnosis podcasts I like that help me relax and fall asleep.  Listening to someone's soothing voice telling me to let things go and relax and picture a beautiful lake or whatever helps keep me out of brain-processing mode, which I talked about earlier.  I'm not going to lie, sometimes I still lay in bed reading things on my phone, but this is a habit I'm trying to break because the light stimulates your brain and keeps you awake.

8.  Lastly, get support from your peers and colleagues!
Being a therapist is very difficult sometimes, but especially if you're a trainee or intern.  It can feel overwhelming, and I know there were many times I felt disappointed in myself for not knowing what to do with a client until after the fact and a supervisor (or the client themselves) pointed out my mistakes or what I could have done better. What helped me probably the most was getting to know other trainees or interns who felt the same way.  We would vent to each other, cry to each other, and build each other back up.  If you're looking for peer support, there are groups online on Facebook, MeetUp.com, etc.  If you're in Ventura County, California, check out our Thriving Therapist group at The New Beginnings Center in Camarillo! We meet on Mondays from 1-2pm.  Email me at britt.fishman@gmail.com for more information or if you want to join!

My Favorite Play Therapy Activities, Part 1

Working with children is one of my passions, mostly because I love kids so much but also because it gives me chance to be playful and creative.  I have worked with kids in many different capacities-- from babysitting, working at a day care or camp, doing behavioral therapy at kids' homes, and while it could be challenging, I love seeing kids learn and grow and develop into amazing people,  I was fortunate to be able to work as a school counselor as a trainee and intern to get my hours, and it was such a rewarding, fun experience.  Being in a school setting was nice because I got to work with a student's IEP team and discuss how the kiddo was progressing.  I had 30-50 minute sessions with each student to address their IEP goals in a way that was fun but also building skills.  I loved finding new ways to meet this challenge.  I'm not going to lie-- a lot of my ideas fell flat and kids looked at me like I was crazy, but I have built a repertoire of play therapy activities that kids would often request to play again.

Here are some things I've found to be very helpful and engaging with kids in play therapy in both school counseling and private practice settings:

"How Full is Your Bucket" books and visuals

I like to read the book by "How Full is Your Bucket" by Tom Rath and Mary Reckmeyer.  It's a cute book that illustrates what it feels like to have an "empty bucket" (sad, lonely, angry, etc.) vs. a "full bucket" (happy, proud, loved, etc.).  I bought these little buckets for $1 each at Michael's and got these blue and white decorative vase gems (they're like flat marbles) to look like drops of water.  After reading the book, I reference it at each session by asking a kid how full their bucket is.  After they demonstrate with the gems how full or empty their bucket is, we talk about what things happened that day that either filled or dipped into their bucket.  I might also use a second bucket to show how they may have filled or dipped into someone else's bucket.

Feelings Hide-and Seek with Kimochis

I found these adorable little feelings characters called Kimochis and came up with a game where you take turns hiding them around the therapy room.  I explain to kids that a lot of us may hide our feelings from people, but counseling could be a place where it's safe to share feelings.  This was by far my most requested activity.  Not only are these little characters adorable, but Hide-and-Seek involves a kid being able to get up, move around, interact with me to see if I give away hiding places, or being creative with their own hiding places.

Each time a kid finds a feeling, they have to say something about it.  I try to keep it broad and unthreatening, but if they're comfortable, I might have them say a time they experienced that feeling.  The kids also love to be the "hider," and so I close my eyes and make a fool of myself while trying to find the feelings around the room, which is delightful and funny for them to watch.  It also gives me a chance to model for them how to talk honestly about my feelings, and I'll often say something I think they can relate to, like "I used to feel jealous of how much attention my little sister used to get..." and I'll see a kid's eyes get wide and nod.  We only do about 5-6 at a time because kids often forget where they hid at least one!

I got these Kimochis at Amazon, but I think a better place to get a set would be at kimochis.com.

A lot of kids I work with have trouble with their executive functioning skills, and one of their deficits is in planning ahead and problem-solving.  There are so many great activities and games to help develop these skills.  I saw this deficit mostly in kids with a learning disability and/or ADHD/ADD,

Puzzles

First off, I love using 100-piece puzzles, which you can get online, or at Target, Big Lots, Walmart, and even the dollar store.  I really like the Ravensburger brand, or anything sturdier and well-cut.  The puzzles at the dollar store tend to be a bit flimsy.  I've noticed that with many kids, sitting and doing a puzzle together face-to-face can be a collaborative, bonding experience.  Many kids start off feeling overwhelmed by all the pieces, so I try to help them break it down into small, doable tasks, like finding all the edges, working on a certain color or area, etc.  I also try to do the more challenging parts to help set them up for success and get it done in time.  Once the puzzle starts coming together, I say things like, "Wow, you're really getting the hang of it!" or "Did you know how good you are at puzzles?" And when we finish it (usually a 100-piece is perfect for a 30-minute session), the kid feels so proud of himself/herself, and I remind them how they were overwhelmed and didn't think they could do it, but after breaking it down into steps, they were able to do it.  I always like to let them get the final piece into the puzzle, because it's such a satisfying feeling.

Games

There are many awesome games you can use to practice problem-solving with kids.  One I like in particular is the game Labyrinth by Ravensburger (pictured above).  The basic premise of this game is you have to obtain objects throughout the maze, which you do so by strategically rearranging the maze on each turn.  Checkers is also a great way for kids to practice thinking ahead about consequences of certain moves.  If the kid is younger or has cognitive deficits, Connect 4 is another, simpler game to practice problem-solving and coming up with strategies. 

Sand tray activities

I can't emphasize how much I love using the sand tray.  I am not officially trained in this area  yet, but I'd really like to be eventually.  

 There are regulation-sized sand trays, which you can get on play therapy sites but they are usually expensive.  Since I traveled around between school counseling sites and my private practice, I bought some kinetic sand on Amazon and a blue container from Staples with a clear top to store it in.  I like the container with the blue bottom because you can make it look like water.  I prefer to use the kinetic sand because it sticks to itself and you can sculpt it, but dry sand is soothing and has a whole different effect.  You can get it in many different colors, but I stick with the brown one because it's neutral.

Here's a picture of a regulation-sized sandtray:

In terms of what to use, I use miniatures.  At my private practice site, we're fortunate to have shelves of toys that my colleagues and I have been collecting for years.  Going to the schools for counseling, I have different collections of miniatures I use, depending on the kid and what I want to work on with them.  I like to use superheroes, Disney characters, animals, trees, food, etc.  I also like to use the characters from "Inside Out" to help the kids express their different feelings in a scene with the sand tray.  You can get a lot of cheap miniatures at Party City, the dollar store, and on Amazon.  Sometimes I'll run into a toy store and see a toy that would be perfect to add to my collection.  I got my Wonder Woman figure from Home Goods!  Michael's has really nice quality miniatures, but they can be expensive.

Stay tuned for Part 2!

Helpful Tips for MFT Interns

Dear MFT Interns:

I was an MFT intern less than 2 months ago, and I wanted to impart what I learned during that 4 year process while it's still somewhat fresh in my mind.  Some things I had to learn the hard way, some things worked out for me by chance, and some things I did well and it paid off.  Hopefully this info will help you! Feel free to email me if you have any questions.

1.  Finding an internship site or supervisor
 

Finding an internship site or supervisor is a lot of pressure and a lot of time-consuming work.  I could dedicate a whole separate post about that process.  Here are some things that helped me:

• Join CAMFT.org and go on the "Job Board," under "Members Only."  It lists paid and unpaid internship sites.  There are other sites online, but this one worked best for me.

• Go to CAMFT events, especially when they have events specific for interns.  This is a great opportunity to network (more on that later) and to see what kind of potential internship sites are in your community.  There are usually several agencies and other sites with booths looking for interns at these events.  For those of you in Ventura County, I would recommend joining the CAMFT Ventura County chapter.  They meet the 2nd Friday of each month except for January and June.  Here is their website, but it hasn't been updated last I checked: VC-CAMFT.org  

• Keep in touch with your colleagues in grad school or previous jobs.  If they are at an internship site they really like, maybe they can put in a good word for you.

• Check out PsychologyToday.com.  This is a website I use all the time.  I pay to have a profile on there, but I also use it to make referrals and I used it to find my own personal therapist.  But it could also be a good place to check out therapy practices and agencies in your area and you could even use the filters to find ones with specialties you're interested in.  Many of them have separate websites that might give you information about whether they are hiring interns.

 Here are some additional articles:

10 Tips for Finding a Private Practice Internship

Preparing for Interviews

Paid or unpaid?

When I first started looking, I was convinced I'd never find a paid internship.  However, it wasn't an option for me to have a non-paid job.  I took a paid private practice internship where I split the fee with my supervisor, and I had the freedom to set my fee with clients.  After a couple months of struggling to build a steady client base, I realized I would need a second internship to supplement my income and get my hours quicker.  I then got another paid internship with a non-profit who paid a flat rate per client.  It didn't pay much, but I consistently had about 13 clients per week and knew I could count on that.

Once you get offers for internships

It might be such a relief to get an interview after applying to so many places that you might be ready to take any position offered.  However, this is going to be the place where you really start to develop your skills and build your career.  It is so important that you are a good fit with the site, the client population, and most importantly, the supervisor.  During your interview, it's important to ask questions to make sure that the site will also meet your needs.

2.  Self-care and personal development

The beginning of my internship journey was pretty rough.  I'm the type of person who strives for perfection and am very hard of myself when I don't excel at something right away.  I didn't give myself much room to make mistakes and I was very sensitive to any negative feedback from my supervisor.  Here's what helped me get out of this cycle:

I found a therapist and worked through my issues.  

I had previously tried therapy with a couple other therapists who weren't a good fit.  I finally found one who was a really good fit for me and being an MFT with a similar specialty as what I was interested was a bonus.  She really understood what I was going through because she went through it herself.  Plus, you get to count personal therapy hours (triple!) toward your 3,000 hours.

I let myself be vulnerable in supervision.  

At first, I didn't want my supervisor to know all my insecurities because I was afraid of getting fired.  This did not serve me well, as my supervisor could see through my act and we weren't getting anywhere.  My personal therapy helped me find the strength to be vulnerable in supervision, and this played a huge part in building a strong, productive supervisor-supervisee relationship.  It wasn't always perfect and supervision did give me anxiety, but I usually left supervision feeling supported.

Another piece of advice I received from a former supervisor was to have a hobby where you can see tangible results, such as gardening.  In our line of work, we may have clients with whom we're not a good fit, or we are but it's hard to measure their progress in a concrete way.  There have been times when I was feeling ineffective and having thoughts like, "Am I helping them at all? Is this working?" That's where it could be really therapeutic to do something like gardening.  I didn't develop a specific ongoing hobby, but I found that doing puzzles, writing, and creating board games to use in play therapy gave me a similar feeling of satisfaction.

Paying attention to the mind-body connection

Being an intern was the most stressful time in my adult life, and it took a toll on my health.  I wish I could say I ate right, exercised and took good care of my body, but I didn't, and I paid for it.  I did start seeing a chiropractor, which helped me a lot.  And I did stay on top of my doctor's appointments when my health was suffering, but I would recommend being more proactive than I was!

3.  Becoming part of the psychotherapy community

 Making Connections with other Providers

As an introvert, the thought of "networking" gave me so much anxiety (still does!).  I am not someone who is comfortable selling myself or talking about my accomplishments.  Over the years, I shifted from trying to make a name for myself and get referrals to connecting with other therapists, psychiatrists, nutritionists, and other providers to better serve my clients.  When I look at it that way, it feels more authentic to me and motivates me to reach out.  I've built relationships with many different providers through consulting on behalf of my clients and explaining what services I provide from a place where I'm passionate about what I do.  This has fortunately led to referrals and opportunities for professional growth for me in a way that doesn't feel icky.

Networking Online 

Although it costs money, PsychologyToday.com is a great way to get referrals and network with other therapists.  I also started this blog and Facebook page "TheThriving Therapist" to connect with other therapists in a way that is more comfortable for me than going to networking events, and it gives me an opportunity to communicate through my preferred medium of writing.  There is also LinkedIn.com, which I don't use much but I know many other people do.

Training Opportunities 

It's also good to attend as many trainings as you can, since they are usually less expensive when you're an intern, and you can count them toward your hours.  This is a good time to explore different specialties you might be interested in and meet people in those specialties.  

4.  Dealing with the BBS

Oh, man-- where do I start? Let me start by saying, it's really tempting to vilify the BBS.  The process to get licensed is grueling and it feels like the BBS purposely make it more difficult than it has to be.  On days I was particularly frustrated, feeling angry at the BBS made me feel better in the short-term, but not in the long-term.  The reality is, the people working at BBS are not out to make our lives miserable.  They have been underfunded and understaffed but I have spoken to some nice people there who did what they could to help me.  I got much farther being nice to them than taking my frustration out on them.

Here are some tips on having a harmonious relationship with the BBS, as they do have the power to grant you your license:

Paperwork

Keep it organized and in a safe place (I literally bought a fire-proof, waterproof safe to store my original paperwork).  Get it signed regularly in case, God forbid, something happens to your supervisor.  Visit the BBS website to see a list of everything you'll need to apply to take the exam.  When you start your internship, get your supervisor responsibility form signed, and keep that in a safe place, as you will need it to get licensed.  After being at an internship for awhile, it's easy to forget about that form or where you put it.  If it's a paid internship, you also need to keep your W-2s during that time, so keep those with your BBS paperwork as well.  Also, keep in contact with all previous supervisors in case you need them to re-sign anything.  Keep copies of everything, and store them in a separate place. 

Here's an article on submitting your hours:

Tips for Submitting Your Hours

The best thing I ever did was join trackyourhours.com.  You enter in your hours and it does all the math for you and shows you how many hours you need and in which areas. 

Another Facebook page I found is Beating the BBS Blues.

5.  Preparing for licensing exams

I can honestly tell you that I don't know anyone personally who passed the exams without taking an exam preparation course.  And the courses ran from about $600-$1,200 in 2015.  What I can tell you is, figure out your best learning style and choose which course best fits your needs.  At the time I was studying, there was Gerry Grossman, AATBS, and Therapist Development Center (TDC).  I used TDC based on  hearing good things about it and knowing my health limitations would make it difficult to attend a class.  Thankfully, I passed both exams on the first try.  I supplemented with some Gerry Grossman practice exams, which I think just confused me and was unnecessary.  TDC was all online and I could do it on my own time at home, but it did take a lot of discipline.

I also studied with other interns and joined the MFT Guide group on Facebook.  Support from other interns going through the testing process was huge for me.  The other thing was really increasing my self-care, especially the week of and the day before taking the exam.  Everyone has their own self-care regimen-- mine on the day before the first exam was getting a massage, going to an acupuncturist, and seeing my chiropractor.  I also stayed in a hotel near my testing site so I could get a good night sleep in a comfortable bed.  I think doing all these things significantly reduced my anxiety so I could focus and use all the strategies I learned from the TDC course.

Final tip:

This is a long, difficult process, but it can be well worth it if you stay the course.  You won't be an intern forever, and you are not alone! 

Here's one last link:

5 Important Tips for Pre-licensed Therapists in private practice

Ten Podcasts I'm Listening to

I've definitely jumped on the podcast bandwagon with Serial and This American Life.  While I sometimes don't feel like I have the energy to read a book or an article, but I want something more thought provoking than watching TV, listening to a podcast feels like a nice alternative.

I started looking into podcasts about psychology and mental health and I was pleasantly surprised to find several different ones.  Here are 10 podcasts I have found to be interesting and helpful.

Click on the links if you'd like to check out a podcast or an episode:

1.  Selling the Couch - hosted by Melvin Varghese, Ph.D.
This is a weekly podcast where Melvin has conversations with different guests discussing ways to build and grow a counseling private practice


Episode recommendation: Tips for Building an Awesome Website

2.  Talking Therapy - hosted by John Webber, MFT and R.J. Thomas, MFT intern
This podcast features in-depth discussions with therapists and counselors about various orientations, approaches, and what it's like to work with different client populations.

Episode recommendation: "Self-Injury and Family Systems" with Angela Kahn, MFT

3.  Shrink on the Couch - hosted by David Wever, LMFT
David interviews different professionals in the field to see what they are seeing in their work, what different approaches they use, how they developed in their profession, and much more.

Episode recommendation: "From Depression to a Life of Possibilities" with Bill O'Hanlon

4.  Personality Hacker podcast - hosted by Joel Mark Witt and Antonia Dodge

This website and podcast focus on the Myers-Briggs personalities and has episodes that delve into each personality specific type.  If you're interested in this branch of psychology, I recommend listening to an episode specific to your type.

5.  TED Radio Hour - hosted by Guy Raz
A journey through fascinating ideas, inventions, fresh approaches to old problems, new ways to think and create.  Based on TED talks and interviews, each episode focuses on a common theme.

Episode recommendation: "Quiet."

6.  Hidden Brain - hosted by NPR science correspondent Shankar Vedantam

This podcast uses science and storytelling to reveal the unconscious patterns that drive human behavior, the biases that shape our choices, and the triggers that direct the course of our relationships.

Episode recommendation:"Loss and Renewal"

7.  The Autism Show - hosted by Catherine Pascuas, autism specialist
A weekly interview show with top autism experts, including Temple Grandin

Episode recommendation: "Self Control" with Lauren Brukner, Occupational Therapist

8.  Child Psych Central - hosted by Dr. Beth Onufrak, Ph.D.
A podcast focusing on child mental health issues, child development, and treatment for children

Episode recommendation:"Play Therapy: Value Beyond Words"

9.  The Wise Counsel Podcast - hosted by David Van Nuys, Ph.D.
Interviews on topics in Psychotherapy and Mental Health

Episode recommendation: Dr. John Duffy on "The Available Parent"

10.  Invisible Warrior Radio - Chronic Illness Support, hosted by Adrienne Clements, Empowerment Coach
A podcast specific to those living with chronic illness

Episode recommendation: "Creating Accountability for Self-Care"








Do you have a podcast you have found helpful or interesting? If so, leave in comments below!

Welcome!

Hi there, and welcome to my project, The Thriving Therapist blog!

Are you an intern or have a limited license, working toward getting all your clinical hours or studying for exams? I was there not that long ago, my friends, and I'm here for you.  You will get there too, and hopefully this can be a place you can go when you're needing some encouragement, inspiration, or just to feel better if you had a tough session.

Or are you a newly licensed MFT, MSW, or LPC? If so, a big CONGRATS! Whew, you made it!!!

.......Now what?!

As a newly licensed MFT in California, I'm excited but overwhelmed by all the possibilities ahead of me.  With freedom comes responsibility, and responsibility can be scary!

On the surface, not much has changed other than my rates-- I'm still seeing clients at the private practice where I started my internship 4 years ago, The New Beginnings Center.  I'm also employed with a non-profit, E.R.A. Ed., seeing children as a school counselor in the Moorpark school district.  

My Journey Toward Licensure

While at first glance, not much has changed for me, a lot has changed internally for me.  First off, I'm really proud of myself for getting licensed.  The whole process took me 7 years, from the day I enrolled in my grad school program to the day I passed my second exam.  I'm also relieved to no longer be an intern working under a supervisor.  I often had anxiety before supervision, worried I'd be criticized or told that I missed something that was detrimental to my client.  Don't even get me started on the nerve-wracking experience of having to show video clips of my sessions with clients! I am grateful to all of my supervisors, even the tougher ones, but there were times I felt fragile and struggled to accept their feedback without feeling like a "bad" therapist.

The Challenges of Being Newly Licensed

While I don't miss the anxiety-provoking experience of being an intern, I do find myself occasionally missing that safety net of consistent weekly supervision when I have a difficult case.  Fortunately I still have my former supervisors to consult with.  But part of me feels like I should be able to handle most clinical issues on my own at this point.  Or I worry they're going to think I don't have the chops to be on my own.  I'm aware that I'm using all kinds of cognitive distortions and placing unrealistic expectations on myself, but this awareness doesn't stop me from holding back from asking for support sometimes.

Peer Support for Psychotherapists in our Community

I've realized that there are many of us out there, probably experiencing similar feelings.  Why go through it alone? Why not support each other and share our knowledge and insight to help each other grow as therapists? 

What can I offer you? Why should you bother reading this blog? I'm hoping to create a place where therapists in the Ventura County area and beyond can find resources, support, and ideas, and even network and collaborate with one another.  We each have our own unique strengths and specialties, as well as our challenges and areas where we'd like to grow.  

After giving it some thought, I realized that some of my strengths are writing, supporting others, reflecting deeply on my experiences to learn as much as I can, and sharing what I've learned with whoever is interested and hearing their perspective.  In addition to seeing clients, these are things that give me a sense of purpose and make me feel alive and connected to others.  I also have areas I need to grow, such as developing my confidence as a therapist, trusting more in my intuition, and strengthening my boundaries.

I invite you to think about what unique strengths and areas of growth you would like to develop as a therapist.

In closing, I want to thank you for checking out The Thriving Therapist blog and would love to hear from you in the comments section or by email.  Please subscribe or check back often for new posts!

- Britt